3 eggs, plus one yolk
1 ½ cups fat free half-n-half
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1/2 teaspoon salt
Dash or two (or three, or four) of Tabasco sauce
1 bunch asparagus, woody ends removed – Set aside 8 asparagus, cut remaining into 1 inch diagonal bits
1 cup smoked ham, diced
1 shallot bulb, minced finely
3/4 cup Jarlsberg cheese, grated
3/4 cup Gouda cheese, grated
1 premade pie crust dough
Preheat oven to 375-degrees. Prepare piecrust and place into pie dish – crimp edges, refrigerate until ready to fill.
In medium bowl, whisk eggs, half-n-half, flour, Dijon, salt and Tabasco until blended thoroughly. Set aside.
Toss both cheeses together to mix thoroughly. Set aside.
In separate small bowl mix diced ham, cut asparagus, minced shallot. Spread mixture over bottom of pie crust. Sprinkle two-thirds of the cheese evenly over meat mixture. Place the 8 whole asparagus stems in a wheel design over the top of the cheese and sprinkle with remainder of the cheese. Carefully pour egg mixture over all. Place in oven and bake for 35 – 45 minutes, until center of quiche is firm. Cool slightly to set prior to serving.
Helpful Hint: I usually check my pies/quiches approximately 20 minutes into the baking time as the crust is usually nicely browned by then. At this point I place a pie crust protector over the crust to keep it from over browning. If you do not own a pie crust protector, simply cover pie crust edges with foil strips and return to oven until dish is finished cooking.
NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF!
EDIBLE FAKE VOMIT, REALLY?
I am giving you my "basic" vomit recipe but I cannot stress how flexible this recipe really is. Today when I made this batch, I only had 1 cup of coconut on hand - so instead, I added 1 cup puffed rice cereal and 1 cup of slightly crushed Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal to make up for the missing 2 cups of coconut needed.
The result was similar yet totally different, if that makes sense. I must say I prefer them cereal free - with coconut only they tend to spread out better, more like a vomit splat than this more formed version. Still, the overall effect still works and they taste great!
Here is my original basic recipe:
1, 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
2, 5 oz. bags sweetened, shaved coconut
1 cup sweetened, flake coconut
1 cup colored mini marshmallows
1/2 cup butterscotch chips (or peanut butter chips)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 teaspoon brandy extract
2 drops Neon purple food coloring
1 drop Neon blue food coloring
2 drops Neon pink food coloring
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large mixing bowl, use a rubber spatula to mix together sweetened condensed milk, extracts, and food coloring. You want to keep tweaking the color until you get a good pinkish hue. Add remaining ingredients and stir until combined.
Drop by heaping tablespoons onto prepared baking sheet. Don’t worry about dropping into neat mounds – you want a ‘random splatter’ look about them. Bake for 13-15 minutes (watch carefully – marshmallows can burn quickly). Remove and transfer onto wire racks to cool. The texture is meant to be chewy. These cookies will harden as they cool.
Makes approximately 1 ½ to 2 dozen depending on size of splats.
Fun Additions:
Chop up a few candy corns using a ridged blade to resemble half eaten bites. Add these to the cookies immediately after you remove them from the oven, but before they cool and set up.
* Take it to the Extreme and serve with shots of "Pepto Bismol" (Bailey's Irish Cream with Neon Pink food coloring added).
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